Treasure Map Stories Part 5!


Buffalohair Treasure Map Stories Part 5!, Nov 16, ’08 5:54 PM

Buffalohair Begining of the Treasue Map Stories Oct 24, ’08 10:12 PM

Sent: 3/17/2008 1:26 PM
After Lunch let’s go hunt treasure.

Start of Treasure Hunt,

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Sun Sep 16, 2007 7:28 pm Post subject:

It all started when a map was….

Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 7:33 pm Post subject:

Found at a coffee shop in Michigan


Mon Sep 17, 2007 12:08 pm Post subject:

The map will take you World wide!

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 11:04 am Post subject:

POV

Scanning the map provided within his survival kit, Luigi panned the foreign landscape. Taking a deep breath he thought to himself; “Come lei dice il gabinetto in inglese? Ho realmente per andare.”

Then in a fit of frustration and obvious need he said out loud;

“Non realmente avere per urinare adesso, domani!!!”
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 3:52 am Post subject: He had just traveled from

Luigi’s Italian Restaurant – Welcome to Luigi’s in Spokane, WA
Welcome to Luigi’s Italian restaurant in Spokane, WA. The finest gourmet Italian food in the Spokane Couer D’ Alene area.

www.luigis-spokane.com/

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 5:27 am Post subject:

To bad Luigi’s bladder was so full
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 5:50 am Post subject:

Rushing to the Chevron station, he raced to the restroom only to discover it used quarters. Then running against traffic he ran into the 7-11 only to find a line of people waiting to use the fascility.

Frantic, he ran around to the back of the store. He had a clear view of Interstate 5 and it was morning rush hour. It was as if everyone was at a dead stop, all looking at this poor man who just could not seem to find a restroom in his “Hour of need”.

Trying to be inconspicuous he wedged himself between the 7-11 building and a blue BFI dumpster. With a sigh of relief, he redistributed his morning cup of expresso which was about to burst his bladder. But then he heard a commanding voice say;

“What the hell are you doing there?”

It was a policeman.

Fearfull of incarceration he meekly replied;

“Il Suono di Puget non ha gabinetti”
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 6:03 am Post subject:

The cop said;

“Move over, I have to go too”

Meanwhile, on the interstate, the senior citizens bus was hauling the old ones to the center for their morning breakfast and social get together.

Mildred, an ultra conservative old biddy noticed the two men by the dumpster. With distain she remarked;

“Look at those perverts up there girls!”

Elma, the most senior of the gals on the bus., looked on. Then secretly took several snap shots of the duo urinating next to the dumpsters.

“Might be old but not that old”, she snickered to herself.
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 12:44 pm Post subject:

Now where is that original Treasure map?

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 6:33 am Post subject:

Not realizing he was transported to the 21st Century, Captain Blood examined the “Happy Meal Pirates Treasure Map”.

“Ayyyyyyyyy, me thinks this Hamburgler feller should be keelhauled and cut to smithereens. Avast I say for what is this thing called ‘A full meal deal’? A pock to them bloody Scots, Mac Donald’s indeed”, he said.

As he ran through the streets of Colorado Springs Colorado, our time traveler was fearful of this modern mode of transportation, the car.

“What form of witchery is this fore I see’s humans within the bowels of this creature?” exclaimed the lost seaman. Then in an effort to safe himself he pulled out his sword and began dueling with a parked BFI trash truck.

Sitting across the street was a patrol car. The two officers were in a heated debate, “I got the cream filled éclairs and you got the chocolate ones” said one patrolman. The other responded, “No you did not, I know I ordered the éclairs and I have the receipt to prove it” The two officers were at an impasse when a pedestrian knocked on their cruiser window.

The frantic lady told the officers about the dueling pirate across the street. When the lady left one officer looked at the other and said,

“Take him down, I’m finishing MY éclair”

Buffalohair
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind


Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 12:37 pm Post subject:

As this is all taking place!

A little kitten sees a piece of paper on the cafe’ table and starts playing with it. Just then a strong breeze lifts it into the air.

A dog sees the piece of paper leave the kittens grasp and not wanting to be left out of the fun leaps into the air trying to catch the paper.

The winds lift the paper higher and sails it over the city park where it lands at the feet of a group of grannies sitting on the park benches, plotting their next adventure.

One looks down, “It’s a Treasure map!”

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 1:49 pm Post subject:

“Treasure map eh” The Environmental Pollution Monitor said to himself as he turned the piece of paper over. “And it’s addressed to Ann Little Running Deer” he quipped as he studied the address on the “mailer”.

“I swore on a stack of code enforcement manuals to enforce environmental laws and hunt down violators now matter where they live or who they are. Ann Little Biscuit Maker or whatever that name was. You’ve just crossed paths with, Butch, Butch Kleanmann, Environmental Detective” he muttered as he stuffed the map into his briefcase.

Meanwhile in another part of the country at the Corona Women’s Correctional Facility we find Ann gathering all her possessions. Its parole day and Ann “The Hammer” was being discharged from prison.

As the door opened to her cell she exclaimed to the guard,

“Get me the F*** out of here!”
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:08 am Post subject:

If Ann the Hammer was locked up, how did her private mail end up blowing in the wind? Who had been going through her belongings and lost the real treasure map?

Over at the park the Grannies had finished their plans and now it was about time to leave. They all checked their watches and made their way to the SkyLark.

Ann the Hammer watched as the Skylark came along the drive. As it pull up in front of her, a door opened and she got in.

“You heard their laughter as driving away. “

Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 5:08 pm Post subject:

After the car got underway, Ann snatched the bottle of Mogen-David Blackberry Wine from the cooler on the back seat. “Cheers girls” Ann shouted as she slugged the vino down. “Ahhhhh, much better than that pruno or raisin jack back in the pod, right girls?, Ann said. The “ladies” just snickered as the car sped into the night. After all they did their time in gladiator school (state pen) as well and today their sister Ann graduated; she made her bones and took her oath in human blood. She was in the Senior Sisterhood International now (SSI). Ann was a Made Granny and her life was going to change forever.

But there was a stillness in the air and Ann could feel it. Though there was small talk and some business discussed. No one mentioned a word about the map.

“Who’s got a Virginia Slim?” Eglantine grumbled as she piloted the gun boat sized car down the desolate highway.

Mildred pushed the Andy Williams CD into the player and said,

“You can have one of my Chesterfields”
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind



Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 1:51 pm Post subject:

Hummmm Ann thought. What are they not telling me?
Lets swing by my place girls.

The grannies said, Have some more wine Ann as we have some other plans to take care of first. Then they told her their plans.

Ann could feel her heart pounding as she listened.

They stopped to get gasoline and got everything ready before driving on.

Ann could see the armored car ahead.

What a rush, each granny doing their job like a well oiled machine.

Once again you could hear the laughter as their car drove off.

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 12:46 am Post subject:

Julio was at the door when he spotted the Skylark entering the driveway of the strip club. He ran to the office to summon Moe the owner. Moe was an elderly retired mobster from the old school. His pension was a string of strip clubs and adult arcades. And his club also doubled as the business office of the Scalla Crime Family, the family he swore “Omerta” the code of silence.

It was rumored that he and Ann once had a thing for each other when they were young. Ann was still working the streets doing tricks. Moe just made his bones and was a newly Made Man. Moe was a soldier back then and his job was taking care of the ladies and “enforcing” when the Johns got ruff.

Then one day a John decided he wanted to play ruff with Ann. She gave the sign for help then Moe stepped in and whacked the grease ball. Ann helped Moe slice and dice the one time woman beater and dispose the bite size chunks to the coyotes in the country side. They were close ever since.

So when Julio told him of the girl’s arrival. His face light up like a school boy. Then Moe commanded, “Clear off the front table for the gals and get them beef cake schmucks here as soon as possible”

As the three geriatric gangsters made their way to the club entrance, the two bouncers at the door stepped way back so as not to be in the way of the trio. There was good cause since Mildred enjoyed grabbing the men as she passed them at the entrance way. True to form as Eglantine and Ann walked in, Mildred hung back as the security men braced for the inevitable.

With the sound of men groaning and a flash of outside light, the dark smoke filled room illuminated the silhouette of Mildred’s form at the doorway. One bouncer was still hunched over as he struggled to close the door.

Then with a robust voice Mildred said;

“Got both of them this time girls!”
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

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