|Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 6:34 am Post subject:|
With a feature film project coming up as well as three budget flicks in the burner my career actually seems like it’s going somewhere. Yup I can see myself 20 years from now, doing stand up comedy in some dingy casino at 4 am. The punch line of my jokes covered up by the sound of the buffer as a janitor cleans the casino floor.
So I’ll be a used up Native entertainer in my 70’s working the “has been” circuit. I’ll need the work since Depends will be up to $100 a box because of fuel prices. I will eat all my meals at the casino buffet since it’s part of my pay package and I don’t like eating alone. I’ll have a “Gold Card” for the Motel 6 somewhere off Las Vegas Blvd near an Adult Book Store.
I’ll dread holidays since my mail box would be empty, as usual. To mask the emptiness holidays bring me, I’ll drink a fifth of Canadian Mist to dull my misery and the emptiness that fills the void I call my life.
Then one day I will return to my motel room. I will be very tired and in need of sleep. I’ll lay on the sofa for a moment. My eyes would be heavy as I fell asleep. As I drifted into my slumber, my closing memories would be of a time when I was still very little. My cousins would be playing near the corrals while my uncles worked the cattle and horses. I would hear my mothers voice as she called me for supper.
In the glaring light, I would see my mom’s image as she reached for me. Struggling to my feet I would make my way off the sofa as I reached for her hand in this bright mist. My heart would begin to race as I heard drums in the background and a scent of cedar and sage. Then, standing behind my mom would be my relations. They would be smiling and eager to greet me.
As I make my way towards them, I look back and see the crumpled lifeless form of an old lonely man laying on the floor of the motel room. His hand reaching out in desperation, the final act in a lost and lonely existence. And I will know my journey is over and I finally came back home.