|Posted: Sun Jul 29, 2007 11:15 am Post subject:|
|JUST WHEN YOU THINK IT’S SAFE
Montana Creek, Alaska. To the horror of passers by, Larry the Salmon’s decomposing body was found headless with only his flipper and skeletal remains along the outlet of Montana Creek and the Susitna River. Detectives surmised this was a sex crime since, “Them salmon get in lots of trouble when faced with their sex drive and exposure to human beings along this waterway” said Detective Bundy from near by Talkeetna.
“Is there no end to this carnage, where is the humanity?” said a local merchant who is a Vegan and herb store owner. Others were not so concerned about the sexual escapades of the traveling fish. In what appeared to be a fit of rage, anglers on both sides of Larry’s decomposing body were pulling in his relations as if to say, “Well Larry, you ain’t going alone”. And the orgy of death continued.
One local Native said, “Mmmmmmmm, more fish-head soup” as she decapitated the head of another un-named salmon and tossed it unceremoniously into a bucket.