Suicide and Other Stupid Ideas

Suicide and Other Stupid Ideas

Clearly suicide has increased in all quarters of society for a host of stupid reasons. From servicemen to teenagers suicides have become a dark trend indeed. Recently an old friend blew his brains out then five hours later his eldest daughter did the same. Though I was stunned by these events it sort of pissed me off also. This was not my first encounter with suicidal antics by friends or acquaintances and I am not alone. At this juncture in human history suicides are becoming a part of our daily dialogue it would appear. More people are pay attention to the frigging voices in their ‘numb skulls’ with devastating consequences. So if you have not been touched by the gift of suicide yet, odds are you will in one capacity or another in the near future.

I’ve cleaned more than my share of brains off furniture, walls and carpet from despondent chums who thought it was cool to kill them selves. So I don’t have much sympathy for pinheads who decide to ‘cross over’ on their own for lame reasons. They leave everyone sad and mostly mad with a giant mess to clean up and that just sucks. What a memory, “Oh yeah, that stain on the wall is from my best friends brain. See the buck shot on the ceiling?” There is nothing like a little memento to keep your memory warm within the hearts of loved ones. How far beyond stupid is that? In some traditions it is believed if you whack yourself you simply get recycled and do it all over again only to face the exact same challenge again. Keep killing yourself every time you hit a bump in the road would more resemble the movie ‘Groundhog Day’. You will have created your own personal hell, how special. That would be funny, in a dark way of course.

Personally, I believe anything is possible and never question the elucidations of other belief systems. With the spirit world just next door to our plain of existence, spirits beyond comprehension and design are gaining easy accesses to our side of reality yielding deadly results. But we should already know this fact since all dogmas speak of it adnauseam, or did you miss that part? Regardless of what dogma one peruses it should be clear the spirit world is very much alive. Spirit beings that influenced Pharaohs, Kings and common man did not simply disappear after you stopped reading your sacred books or left the temple. Spirits are out there waging war on humanity in every aspect of our existence as we speak. They are the so called ‘voices’ one heads that vey influence at the worst possible times in a persons life while tipping the scales of sanity.

Did you catch the story about the guy who *decapitated himself? Now that was ingenuity but there is no question he had some help from the other side. Civil society is having a nervous breakdown and it’s a direct cause and effect from the spirit worlds ever increasing presents in our lives. Yup, it’s also a part of prophecy as well. Those pesky ectoplasmic boneheads keep whispering smack and influencing evil to all who heed their ramblings or think they are G*D’s, gads. One must get a handle on the realties of our existence and that is written within the pages of their respective dogmas. How could a person be a sincere Christian, Muslin or what ever floats your canoe, without acknowledging the existence of the supernatural and its nuances? Just remember; spirits are just spirits for they lie and use your fears against you like politicians.

You had better get used to hearing spirits since it’s only going to get harder to ignore as time progresses. Check out your sacred books; stories dealing with good and bad spirits are throughout their texts. Prophetic teachings abound with tales of spiritual shenanigans during the time of change. But what’s the big deal about the so called supernatural anyway? It’s more a part of our reality than many of us care to realize and that is a pity. A few people freak out just over the notion of any otherworldly, let alone knowing if spirits are good or not. But to others it’s not a matter of if they believe there are spirits; it’s a matter of not wanting to upsetting and riling the attention of unsavory spirits..

Some spirits tell me all kinds of rotten things I should do and they know exactly what buttons to push to get my attention. Though I am not suicidal I do understand first hand how spirits play on ones frailties, manias and obsessive compulsive vendetta and revenge disorder, in my case anyway. They fan the flames of anger or lust and know how to work it baby. Bribery is also an alternative when raw anger or fear fails to raise my dander. It is tempting to accept evil yet lucrative suggestions and walk the dark path but I would literally be selling my soul to the devil, been there, done that. I have enough chicanery in my twisted past to contend with as it is. That would be the frosting on the proverbial cake to be sub-contracting for some evil entity in my golden years. Would Duct Tape be deductible?

Killing my self is so totally out of the question. I already know what the aftermath of a suicide looks and smells like. Even with a drug overdose people get bloated and leak all over the place if they are not found early enough, especially in the summer. What a stupid thing to put your loved ones through. Your lame suicide note would be overshadowed by the reality of the mess you left behind, oh boy. The last things people will remember about you are your stinky dead carcass and how much it cost them to clean your mess and bury your dumb ass. And what about all the frigging dogs? Yeah sure, go kill yourself and leave behind a house full of pit-bulls so your loving family can go broke feeding them. Worse yet, what if your family only finds a few bones and your wisdom tooth on the carpet but a house full of fat puppies? One dead chum of mine had a pet cobra with a very bad attitude. I almost joined him because that frigging snake almost bit me when we moved his junk out of the apartment. What a royal pain in the ass.

If you kill yourself in your apartment you can forget about your relatives getting the cleaning deposit back. In fact, one should be careful if they are the first on the scene of a suicide, don’t touch anything. You might get charged with murder or something by some budding prosecutor in need of political fodder. Suicide sucks on many levels since it affects everyone close to the victim in a myriad of negative ways. After the emotional shock and personal loss come the nuts and bolts of death. Hopefully the dead dork has relatives to dump these chores on. I’m not too fond of spending my Saturday cleaning brains off walls and digging pellets out of the trim work either. I hate that. If only people were not so freaked out about the spirit world in the first place. People would not be so influenced to do stupid things like suicide or hacking their families to death just because some butthead spirit or voice told them to do so. Before you pull the trigger maybe you should consider all the consequences and not only for yourself. My prayers are for the true victims of suicide, the people left behind.


Your Devil’s Advocate

© 2011, Buffalohair Productions. All rights reserved.

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